Feb 8th 2009 all of the things i want to do

read Matthew

read the four gospels

read the four books I bought but haven’t read

paint something

make a zine

write everything that has happened

write everything that has happened again

send mail to steven

pray

call Caryn

write letters to those who deserve to be written

start the project for Mike’s February 14th concoction

clean my car

go for a walk because the weather is beautiful

go to lunch with Leif and manage to guide the conversation into something wonderfully godly

think of more things to do

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Jan 5th 2009 none

harassment is on all sides, relentlessly asking me, more more more.
more for my hands, more for my stomach, more for we,
but when, when do i get just some for me?

it’s the messy primary colors again, all the kinds that make me see in fuzzy lego blocks
with harsh corners and straight edges and staggering all around me.
i need some pinks, some blues, some purples
with feathered finishings and falling like snow around our figures.

my intellect needs nourishment,
my idiocy has been entertained for the day.

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Sep 30th 2008 i contemplated this all day

The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.

Romans 13:12

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Sep 28th 2008 —

It’s funny how homesick I get for things that aren’t a place.

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Sep 24th 2008 going!

I’m going and going and gone!

Yes, I’m excited. And yes, I’m also nostalgic. Incredibly nostalgic, actually.

But onward! To where? Tuscaloosa! Kansas City! Minneapolis! Ohio! and then… to be announced:) I’m going Way D!

I will write plenty more, don’t you worry.

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Aug 2nd 2008 inconsistancy

I promise, I’ll be more consistent with this soon.

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Jul 10th 2008 in leiu of recent events, a song.

Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can’t stop so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I feel an angel lift me up
And I open bloodshot eyes into fluorescent white
They flip the siren, hit the lights, close the doors and I am gone
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound

Look around and you’ll see that at times it feels like no one really cares
It gets me down but I’m still gonna try to do what’s right, I know that there’s
A difference between sleight of hand, and giving everything you have
There’s a line drawn in the sand, I’m working up the will to cross it and

Rhetoric can’t raise the dead
I’m sick of always talking when there’s no change
Rhetoric can’t raise the dead
I’m sick of empty words, let’s lead and not follow

Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can’t stop so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I feel an angel steal me from the
Greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands
They’ve given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance

Can we pick you off the ground, more than flashing lights and sound

-Dustin Kensrue, Thrice

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Jul 8th 2008 apologies for protected posts

I’m not really that sorry though, haha.

I start work every morning at seven thirty. I wake up before the sun. I like mornings in this way. Everything is wet and quiet, and it just so happens that the bay water at the end of my street faces the east. You can imagine a morning like that.

Coffee isn’t working for me… yet. Maybe today will be one of those days that it takes about an hour to kick in, and then lasts all day. That would be awesommmmme.

I’m trying really hard with this new job… trying to speak in tongues as much as I can when I’m at their house, trying to find words for conversation, trying to excercise noticable kindness,  to discern whether the walls or up or down, and trying NOT to close myself off from being available to them in the service of love. Everyday I pray that God will just show me, because I certainly have no voluntary affection for these people and it isn’t quite up to my friend-making skills to wedge some light into their lives. This will entirely be a walk with God.

In other news, my cat and dog are lovely creatures and my boyfriend lovliest of them all.

What a blessed girl I am.

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Jul 8th 2008 Protected: for those who don’t understand

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Jul 7th 2008 Protected: i said honesty, right?

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